I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
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I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
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watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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