Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
