is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
