Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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