Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
