the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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