I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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