I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
