it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I bet he comes in French.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
