I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize