When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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