yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
