i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
