I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
