Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
