Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize