she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
