In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
