Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
