and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
