The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
