Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Randomize
