You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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