Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
