it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
