lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
