Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
