South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
