i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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