Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
