Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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