it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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