My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Randomize
