you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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