Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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