Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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