u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
