you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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