Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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