So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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