There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Randomize
