Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
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