I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Text me some of your sweat
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
