Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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