i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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