Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
