Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Randomize