do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
