toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
