2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
