There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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