Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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