I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
i out mim tonsoeep
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