I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
