i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
