He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
