he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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