bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
our cab driver is having phone sex.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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