Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
