I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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