Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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