gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
