I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
