You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize