I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
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I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
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Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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