I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We just shotgunned beers for America
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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