My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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